Stuck in Your 20s? Why It’s Normal (and How to Move Forward)

You’ve just graduated, or maybe you’ve been out of school for a couple of years, and instead of feeling free and accomplished, you feel… stuck. If you’re stuck in your 20s, you’re not alone. Thousands of young adults wrestle with questions about direction, identity, and purpose during this decade. It can feel like everyone else has their life together while you’re still trying to figure out where to begin. But here’s the truth: being stuck in your 20s is not a failure—it’s part of the process.

Why So Many Young Adults Feel Stuck in Their 20s

The transition from school to adulthood is huge. One day, you have structure, assignments, and a clear path forward. The next day, you’re on your own, expected to create a life plan out of thin air. When you’re stuck in your 20s, you’re often facing three big realities: the pressure to succeed quickly, the comparison trap fueled by social media, and the lack of real-world preparation from school. These pressures create a perfect storm of anxiety and self-doubt.

If this resonates, you’re already taking the first step: acknowledging that it’s okay to feel lost. Many of the people who look “together” are actually just hiding their own struggles. The feeling of being stuck in your 20s is more universal than most people admit.

The Power of Small Steps

One of the most paralyzing parts of being stuck in your 20s is believing you have to make huge, life-altering decisions right away. But you don’t. What helps most is focusing on small, consistent actions. Things like setting up a daily routine, trying one new activity each week, or creating realistic financial goals can bring stability and confidence. Even learning how to journal your thoughts can be transformative; research supports journaling as a method for personal growth and stress relief (University of Rochester Medical Center).

In fact, I’ve written before about the transformative power of journaling and reflection as a way to unlock clarity when you’re feeling uncertain.

Redefining Success

When you’re stuck in your 20s, it’s easy to believe success means climbing the corporate ladder, buying a house, or checking off some external checklist. But success is much more personal. For some, it’s building healthy friendships. For others, it’s creating work-life balance, traveling, or starting a side hustle. The key is redefining success on your own terms. If you’re chasing someone else’s version of success, you’ll always feel behind.

As I often remind my clients, the goal isn’t to have it all figured out right now—it’s to take steps toward a life that feels meaningful and sustainable. That shift in perspective can relieve the pressure and help you move forward when you’re stuck in your 20s.

Building Resilience

Life in your 20s comes with setbacks: job rejections, failed relationships, financial mistakes. These moments can make you feel like you’re not moving forward. But setbacks are not signs that you’re permanently stuck in your 20s—they’re part of the growth process. Building resilience means reframing failure as feedback, asking “what can I learn from this?” instead of “what’s wrong with me?” This mindset helps you keep moving even when the path feels unclear.

If you need more practical tools to manage the ups and downs, check out my articles on simple ways to be happy, which breaks down small practices that can boost your mood and resilience.

Finding Direction Through Exploration

Another myth is that you need to choose one direction early and stick with it forever. The truth? Your 20s are for experimenting. When you’re stuck in your 20s, the best medicine is exploration. Travel if you can, try out different jobs, volunteer, take classes in topics that excite you. Every experience teaches you something about what you want—and what you don’t.

Instead of treating exploration as wasted time, see it as gathering data. Each new experience gives you more clarity. When viewed this way, being stuck in your 20s transforms from a problem into an opportunity.

Building a Support System

It’s tempting to believe you should figure everything out on your own. But being stuck in your 20s often feels less overwhelming when you have the right people around you. Find mentors, talk to friends who get it, or seek out a coach who understands the unique challenges of this stage of life. You don’t need a hundred people—you need a handful of supportive relationships that encourage you to grow.

As someone who has spent over 15 years guiding young adults, I know firsthand that having someone walk alongside you makes all the difference. That’s why I created Kurtis Vanderpool Life Coaching for Young Adults—to provide a safe, supportive space where you can sort through your questions, find clarity, and take meaningful steps forward.

Moving Forward When You’re Stuck in Your 20s

So what do you do now? Start with self-compassion. Being stuck in your 20s doesn’t mean you’re broken—it means you’re human. Take small steps each week toward building habits, exploring interests, and connecting with people who inspire you. Redefine success on your own terms, build resilience by embracing failure, and remember you don’t have to do this alone.

If you’re stuck in your 20s and feel like you need a guide, consider reaching out. Coaching isn’t about telling you what to do; it’s about helping you discover what matters most to you and creating a plan that feels doable. Whether you’re looking for clarity, accountability, or just someone to process with, support is available.