It’s a terrifying word.



It’s an even more terrifying reality.



Powerlessness is why so many women fear any strange man in their vicinity.
It’s why men choose bravado and arrogance instead of vulnerability and authentic connection.


Fear and pretending are much easier to stomach than being powerless.


When we face powerlessness, it’s like staring into the eyes of a dozen starving lions

and we have only two options:


We can rage and rail and choose hysteria, all in an attempt to overcome it.
But this is an illusion. It’s nothing but emotional self-protection from the reality of death


Our second option is acceptance.

We can—with great difficulty, of course—choose to see the world from an outside perspective. We can look at ourselves and our circumstance apart from all of the heightened emotions and say,


“This is what is. There is nothing I can do about it.
I accept what is.”


In both scenarios, we still die.


Choosing to accept or even embrace your current situation will probably not change the situation itself.




In one picture we die full of rage, terror, and worst of all…



If we choose to fight against the truth that we are facing a dozen man-eating lions, we will spend our last moments of life living a false life. We will die as a pretender; as someone else.

I would not die as Kurtis. I would be an ugly, sad, false version of him, simply because I would be living a reality that does not exist;


a reality that tells me I can do something about my unfortunate circumstance.


There is very little I can think of that would be more tragic than dying as a fake, illusioned version of myself.


If, on the other hand, acceptance were my path; if upon seeing myself from an outside perspective I can look and say,

“This is where I am.
I have had a life I did not deserve,
and I accept it’s ending”



What a beauty that would be.


What testimony.


What art.



I would die not only with a beautiful, impossible courage and calm peace,

I would die as the best version of myself I could ever be.

I would die as me.



Illusions may be easier, they may be more “hopeful,” but they are never better.


I would rather die as Kurtis.


I would also rather live as the real Kurtis, in the real world, facing the real truths of my circumstances no matter what they are than to continue on in life with walls of false reality I have built just to keep out the often harsh reality of my REAL life.




I stated in my best-selling book, Giving Up Sunday, that fear makes people do stupid things.

None of us is immune to it.


Fear makes fools of us all.


It made King Saul try to kill his beloved son-in-law, David.

It made Judas betray his Lord, his leader, and his friend, Jesus.

It makes us turn to lists of “dos” and “don’ts” as well as “how-tos” and “how-to-nots,” rather than simply being with the one who loves us beyond imagination.


Fear makes us stupid, and it makes us crazy.



As an antidote to this terminal condition called fear, we have been discussing some simple, everyday practices we can engage in regularly to help us

  • be with Jesus
  • focus on love
  • and trust Him more


These practices are to remind us that God really is the only one who has any control.

They are practices for a reason.

Recent studies in the science of neurology have taught us that the brain CAN be changed by constant repetition.


In other words, we can change the way we think, feel, and respond by repeatedly choosing to believe a different course.


Practice really does make perfect.



So our practice this week is simple,




change the way you think.




Change the way you think about the control you have in your world. Change the way your brain operates when it comes to life’s circumstances, whether they be your job, your family, your finances, or yes…even your spiritual development.


Change the way you think by reminding yourself that you are NOT in control of any of these things. Here’s how I recommend getting started:


Every day, find a time to tell yourself repeatedly,

“This is who I am, this is where I am, this is what I am.
I am powerless to control the circumstances of my life.
This is my lot currently…
and I accept it.”


Accepting what is never means abandoning the hope or the hard work for something different or something better.


Quite the opposite,


Just like I said in my first post about trust, Trusting God by Starting Where You Are, you can’t get where you want to go if you don’t know where you are.


Accepting the powerlessness in your life, accepting the things you have no control over is the first true step to recognizing and affecting the things you DO have the ability to change.

The diagnosis must come before the treatment can be administered.


So say it with me right now,

“This is who I am, where I am, what I am.
I am powerless to control the circumstances of my life.
This is my lot currently…
And I accept it.”





When we accept what we cannot change, we stop wasting so much time, energy, and emotional turmoil focusing on the things we cannot hope to alter. This allows us to focus our efforts on the things we truly can affect:


  • How we respond to disappointment.
  • Choosing kindness and understanding over fear and control.
  • Welcoming someone we don’t understand rather than pushing them away.
  • Listening to our children and really hearing their hurt rather than correcting their actions.
  • Working with integrity and love at an occupation we hate,
  • Or choosing to love yourself enough to risk pursuing a better one.



Accepting our powerlessness as limited, mortal humans leads to great freedom of spirit. It also leads to clarity of vision, and unlimited hope for that which we know is better.


So say it with me,


“This is who I am, where I am, what I am.


I am powerless to control the circumstances of my life.


This is my lot currently…


And I accept it.”


For your own sanity, and for those of us who love you and need the unique gift that is the real you,

Choose option 2.

Choose to live OR die


As the real and powerless and beloved you.




This is who I am. Where I am. What I am.


I am powerless to control the circumstances of my life.


This is my lot currently…
And I accept it.





For more on living as the true you, I recommend 3 different books:


You can also find daily reflections and practices on your true self, beloved by Jesus through the Center for Action and Contemplation. These reflections have been of infinite importance in the development of my trust in God through the daily difficulties, frustrations, and distractions of life. I highly recommend them if you are looking for more guidance in this arena.


If this post or any of these resources has impacted you in any way, please share that hope for us who are still searching. Leave a comment below or on our social media posts from these articles. Thank you.